INTRO
Today I’m talking to Tim Worley, a former University of Georgia All-American and NFL first-round draft running back. Tim was a superstar athlete playing for the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Chicago Bears, but his career was derailed by drug and alcohol abuse. A nationally broadcast incident with a Smyrna, Georgia police officer was Tim’s wake-up call to find his identity outside of sports and fulfill his purpose as a leadership educator, life-skills consultant and motivational speaker.
BUMPER
I am Tajci.
At 19 I was a superstar and I was lost inside. I left it all behind, switched continents and started all over. Years later I found myself lost again. This time in the American dream.
This is a story about awakening. About living the life you were created for. About going inward and discovering the joyous and purposeful person you and I are both meant to be.
This is “Waking Up In America.”
TAJCI
I am so excited to have Tim… Thank you so much!
TIM
Thank you for having me.
TAJCI
So when I became American citizen, they asked me questions about American football. No, I’m just kidding… It’s not a Croatian thing, obviously, but it is such a huge part of American culture.
TIM
Yes.
TAJCI
And here you are… You have an amazing story and I know that there is many viewers out there who, when I say Tim Worley, they know your story. And you are going to give us a little bit… I’m going to ask you questions that I want answers to…
TIM
Ok.
TAJCI
So, you say, in your story, you say how you always knew you had the gift. So, take us there.
TIM
Well, I was born in a little small town in North Carolina, Lumberton, Robertson County and a very, very poor county. Raised in a pretty decent community. My parents were factory workers and my mother and father had five boys and we all played sports.
Back then sports was all we had. We weren’t in a house with video games and stuff back then. I was blessed with a gift to play just about every sport.
Not just football, but baseball, basketball, track and field. I even played soccer. I had an opportunity where I believed that I could have played major league baseball if I would have stuck with it.
But football for some reason was that thing that grabbed me and I wanted more of it. Football and track and field because it was an aggressive sport. And dealing with some of the things that I dealt with as a little child, it was a frustration release for me.
I was an All American running back in high school, All American running back at University of Georgia and then drafted into the first round. But that’s where my gifts took me. And it’s all God given. He gave that to me and I used them and they got me in some of the places that, what you are seeing today. Just the platform now for my athletic background opens up a lot of doors for me today.
TAJCI
So many of our kids…we demand that they sit quietly in the classroom, where do they have that chance to yell and, like you said that energy… that God given energy to run and be competitive, win and… whatever you felt.
TIM
There is some neglect in some areas because technology today, you know, it keeps you in the house more now. I mean, you can sit at home and… you know, I look at the internet and a lot of people say that internet is a blessing and a curse at the same time because you have access to whatever you want to with a press of a button.
And when you look at the athletic side of it, there is a lot of young kids out there, they think that they can take what they are doing on a video game and simulate that and have that same response outside on the field, or on the basketball court or on the baseball diamond. It’s not going to work that way. You gotta get out there and you got to work your bodies, you got to put in the time.
Where I got… where I… my goals that I reached being an athlete from high school to the NFL, I worked my butt off to get there. It came natural, but there were some things that I had to do to make myself better, you know, strength-wise, doing the things that I didn’t really want to because, you know,
if I felt tired or lazy, or didn’t feel like it.. That’s the time that I pushed myself, to go out and train, to run stadiums, to go run hills, to run around campus with weights on my shoulders and stuff like that. Because I wanted to be better.
I wanted… you know then, there was a time in my life as an athlete where I felt there’s nothing I couldn’t do.
TAJCI
Wonderful!
TIM
And that was powerful!
TAJCI
You put all these hours that, you know, kids today put so many hours in video games, and if you put those hours in exercise or in training, like you said, you’re gonna see results.
TIM
You have to put in the time and you have to put in the work to be successful.
TAJCI
What was driving you to be successful?
TIM
I didn’t feel good about myself. I felt like…
I felt like I didn’t fit in. I felt inferior to a lot of things. I got teased a lot by my family because of my… ’cause of how dark my skin was… even within my family, you know… and… and I felt like the things that I saw…
I saw physical abuse between my father and my mother. Not toward us, but toward my mother whenever my father was intoxicated. And so what do you do when you see those things when you are a young kid, and how do you release that frustration? How do you…. how do you deal with that as a 10, 12 year old kid, you know? And you respect your parents no matter what they do.
And so, I saw that frustration I was able to release that in sports. I was able to release that on a ball diamond, on a football field, the basketball court. But football was such an aggressive, violent sport and I gravitated to that. And I figured, If I can go on a field and knock somebody in the mouth and not go to jail for it, count me in. I’m all for that.
And so, add that to the gift that God already gave me to play any sport, and that just made me more aggressive. And I was able to take it to the next level and then the next level and then the next level…
TAJCI
Would you say it was who you were meant to be?
TIM
You know, sports is not who I am. I used to think that. I love to compete. I was a guy,
I loved to compete. ‘Cause, I didn’t feel good about myself back in the day when it came to being in a classroom. I was the one that would never raise his hand, even if I knew the answer because I wasn’t too sure about myself.
But I was very sure about myself Friday night on a football field. I was very sure about myself on a basketball court, or on a track. You know even when I wasn’t competing, if there was a little kid that wanted to race me, or something, I wouldn’t let him beat me, because I was that competitive.
And… but I was always competitive and I loved that part about me because it just translated into what I’m doing today. You know what I mean? But, it was a beautiful thing and I took it, I had an opportunity and I took an advantage of it.
TAJCI
Yes. And the reason why I asked that is because, we… so many of us do identify… end up identifying with our strengths, and then with what we do… what our gift is to a point where it becomes… we think that that is who we are, and I don’t think that that’s who we are. We are spiritual souls that God made us to be
TIM
That’s right!
TAJCI
and this is just how we manifest this and it could be football, or singing, or whatever. So.. and this is where… why so many stars, athletes, or singers, or actors get stuck. And you got stuck in that place.
TIM
Yes I did.
I took on this identity because that… when I took that on, I felt good about myself. That was my sanctuary. When you come in this sanctuary you don’t have to battle.
And so I took on the identity that I was only an athlete. That’s all I could do.
TAJCI
And, I mean, it was great! You were the first rookie that got a million dollar deal, right?
TIM
With the Pittsburgh Steelers.
TAJCI
I mean, that’s a huge validation. That feels good. And there is nothing wrong with that.
TIM
Right. But, there… like you said, we are spiritual beings and there was so much more to me than just an athlete, but I took that on and when I tried to release it, it was hard for me.
I ended up retiring from Chicago Bears in 1996 and for so many years, I didn’t know what to do with myself, because I took on that… it was hard for me to drop that identity. And it had me stuck.
And we talked about fear earlier… that’s what had me in fear, because I didn’t know how to make that transition into a normal lifestyle. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t know how to sit down and go and do a 9-5, or anything like that because from 10 years old, I’m playing sports till I am 30 and now it’s over.
TAJCI
Right. You don’t know how to just sit and be.
TIM
Right.
TAJCI
I understand that and I know that even people who have, maybe not have been stars or have achieved that success, can understand that, even when, you know, your dishes are clean and your kids are off to bed, can you sit with yourself knowing who you are.
TIM
Yea, I never knew who I was. I thought I did, but when it was over for me, the sport, that’s when, you know, my first wife, you know, it was like, OK, Hi! I’m Tim. Who are you? Finally I’m home and I’m sitting still.
I started competing when I was 10, and all of a sudden I’m 30 years old and it’s over. So what do you do when the cheering stops?
TAJCI
Tim was living his life as Tim, the star athlete identifying with his success and enjoying the lifestyle of rich and famous, but on the inside, he had no idea who he really was apart from the sport.
UP NEXT: How Tim sabotaged his success and hit rock bottom before his waking up moment.
TAJCI
We hear about the life in the fast lane, the life of the celebrities, there is so much available to us… Did you get into all of that, or?
TIM
Well, one of the things that I… when I was a kid in my neighborhood I saw a lot of alcohol abuse, and I always said to myself, because I watched my Dad abuse alcohol. I said to myself I’d never do that. I don’t want to be like that. And I’m never going to be a drunk, I’m never gonna be walking in the streets drunk like I see some of these people that I see… And be careful when you say never, because you get challenged with that.
So, in high school, you couldn’t get me to drink alcohol, do drugs, any of that stuff. I stayed away from that stuff because I was so focused on my athletic career.
But when I got to University of Georgia after my freshmen year, my sophomore year, you know, I went to Georgia as my freshmen year and my name got big. And when you don’t know who you are, you head starts to swell when people are patting you on your back all the time. And so… and peer pressure is all around and you got people trying to get you to do this… try this, try that. No, no, no, no… and finally my sophomore year I tried it. I tried alcohol for the first time and I liked it. I liked the way it made me feel.
Few months later when I blew my knee out my sophomore year in a game against the Ole Miss, that opened up, that alcohol opened up a door for me to try drugs and when I got offered those drugs, which was cocaine, I tried it, you know. And guess what? I liked it. I had no idea the course, the path that drugs and alcohol was going to set me on, even though it was very recreational and innocent.
When I got into the NFL and signed these huge contracts, you know… you didn’t have to buy this stuff. It was there, you know. It was given to you. You go to a party, you see marijuana, you see cocaine, you see peels, you see girls everywhere, all types of stuff, and so when you don’t know who you are, how do you resist that? You go from, you know, having a couple of hundred of dollars in your account to.. now you got 3.5 million dollars in your bank account overnight. What do you do with that?
When you are 21, 22 years old, you don’t know who you are. You started something years ago, that’s now turning into a habit.
Okay, you got people from all walks of life coming at you, wanting to know who you are… They really don’t want you, they really don’t care, they just want to be around you because of what you got, the position that you have. What do you do with that?
And I always knew that I had leadership qualities, but when I got stepped into that world, I began to follow.
Follow people that didn’t mean me well at all. And so, and I never did this right here… I take full responsibility for the choices that I made.
But that path that I chose, one of things that it did, it shortened my career in the NFL. I played 7 years, which I could have played 12 years. And it also, in the end almost destroy my life. I lost everything. I found out that I really didn’t have any friends. The people that were there when the money was good, and the fame and then being on television all the time, they weren’t around any more.
I basically, when I lost everything I divorced and all of that. Had to move back home with my parents in North Carolina, so… I went through a whole overhaul and that’s when I began to hear the Lord. So, it’s amazing. When we are on the mountain top, we can’t hear Him.
TAJCI
No.
TIM
You can’t hear him.
TAJCI
So, your waking up moment was a little bit public as far as I understand.
TIM
Oh yea. It was, you know, I fell my first drug test and got my first DUI in 1991 when I was with the Steelers. And when that happens that puts you in the system where you are getting tested every week. And then I ended up failing my second test because I didn’t show up for the test, because that’s an automatic positive. And then third time I didn’t show up for that one ’cause I knew I was positive. See, that’s where I started to sabotage.
TAJCI
Right.
TIM
Let me go back a little bit. Let me tell you a story. I played for Chuck Noel three years and I played for Bill Coward two years in the Pittsburgh Steelers organization, and one of the things when Chuck Noel retired in 1992, Bill Coward came. I was the first man, player that he called to his office. And he was agreeing with me. He was like, I understand, I watch you, I know your style. He said, I want to surround the offense around you, I want to give you the ball 35 times a game and let you do your thing. I said Okay. What did I do?
When I found out, when I got exactly what I wanted from the Steelers, what do I do? I went out and I sabotaged it. I went out and I got high because I didn’t… deep down I was afraid of the opportunity and the responsibility that came with that.
And so I sabotaged it. So, I didn’t show up for tests, so that suspended me for en entire season. And in 1992, I forfeited salary and incentives over 1.2 million dollars. But I didn’t have a problem.
TAJCI
Tell me about the jail experience.
TIM
You know, every person on the planet at some point, you have a defining moment in your life and most defining moments are not anything we’re proud of, or a positive or laughter or anything of joy, it’s kind of horrific and for me, seven years ago, 2008 April 13….
it started out April 12. I was living in Atlanta, Georgia. I was very depressed and kind of suicidal. I didn’t want to be around too much, cause I was just feeling… I was a has been. And not too happy with myself. And I started out that morning, I used to journal a lot when I was depressed and I still have my notes from my journal.
And I said to the Lord, I said, Lord, if you’re real, show me who you are today. Because I’m going out. And when I said ‘I’m going out’ and I was saying, I don’t want to be here much longer.
And so, I started out that morning on April 12, 2008, I drank a case of beer within two hours. And got into my car and drove down Atlanta in a little suburb called Smyrna. And I just said to the Lord, I said, show me who you are, save me tonight if you’re real. And I was… started out drinking at 10 o’clock in the morning, and this lead on all the way up to sports bar and stuff, hanging out with people. 3:30 in the morning I got into my vecihle and started to drive. I’m looking at a cop sitting over there parked. And as I’m walking into my vecihle I waved to him, Follow me. Because I didn’t want to live no more that night… And…
ten minutes later I get pulled over, and I get out of the car and I’m looking for a ossification with the police. I’m trying to give the cop a reason to take his gun and shoot me in my chest and put me away. That’s how I felt. I was so depressed. And, he tried to… he was giving me commands and I got irritated and frustrated with him and he try to put his cuffs on me. And when he tried to put his cuffs on me, I punched him. I swung and hit him, kind of like… I hit him at the side of his face and… cause I was looking to die. And then he tried to spray me with Mace and I turned my head and as I was walking on, he hit me with the taser. And when he hit me with a taiesr, he must have had his thing up to 50,000 volts cause it dropped me like a bad habit.
I was about 250 pounds, pumping iron, strong, and they got me on the ground and they put the cuffs on me, the whole Smyrna police force was out there. And the fortunate, the great thing about it, was they had an opportunity where they could have really hurt me, rough me, whatever, and they didn’t do it.
And they were very respectful toward me, even when I was disrespectful toward them. And I just at that when I look back that that was the hand of God. And so they took me to jail. I’m in jail at 4:30 in the morning and I’m sitting in a holding cell, and around the time 6:30, 7 o’clock rolls around, the alcohol then wore off. And I’m sitting there and I’m like, Wow, man… And basically I realized what has just happened.
God answered my prayers. He saved my life. He put an angel in a cop’s uniform to stop me in my tracks, to save my life that night. And if that wouldn’t have happened, either I was going to kill somebody, or somebody was going to kill me that night. Because I was on a tear. And I didn’t care any more.
And the amazing thing is: God kept showing me in a vision, in the year 2000, he was showing me 23, the number 23, Kept showing it to me in a vision that he gave me. And I didn’t realize, I was going to spend 23 days in jail. And that’s when I got on my knees and I repented it and I asked God for forgiveness and I restored, rededicated my life to the Lord, and I said, Lord, until you open up that jail door, I said, I won’d go anywhere. And on the 23rd day, a friend of mine came and got me.
TAJCI
Tim was afraid of the opportunity he had and the responsibility that comes with it, so he kept sabotaging his success with drugs and alcohol.
UP NEXT: How Tim’s awakening is having a much bigger impact on people than his celebrity status ever did.
TIM
Since that day in 2008 God has radically changed my life. And the opportunities…
There is more of an impact now on my life, on other people than my athletic career.
Cause now it’s about people seeing… there is lot of people know what I went through, what I put myself through and to see me come back from that, they look at me different now.
One of my biggest fears was to stand up and speak in front of people. It’s my passion now. And he is giving me an opportunity to speak in front of thousands of people. He is giving me an opportunity now to give back the things that I screwed up. Areas that I… almost destroyed my life. Now he is giving me an opportunity to go back and help somebody else as a life skills consultant. You know, working with a lot of athletes. But not just athletes, working with people in general. People period.
Because I understand, I know what it’s like to be addicted to alcohol, I know what it’s like to be addicted to drugs, I know what it’s like to be addicted to a certain lifestyle, to women, to things that people tell us we are supposed to have, or what we are supposed to be like, or what’s going to make us a man, which was a lie.
Even my family, they look at me differently. It’s almost like, like a fear that they have because they know I shouldn’t be here, with the way I used to live, but I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere until my purpose is completed.
TAJCI
You know what I always say, as an immigrant, the American spirit of being courageous and free, that’s what brave and free means. To be courageous and free to break that wall, to break that strength that the world wants us to have, to be who we are expected to be. To break that and let the grace, which is with us all the time, to let it really soften our heart and open it so we can give and really heal not just ourselves, but the world around us. Thank you Tim. Thank you for who you are…
TIM
Thank you.
TAJCI
…deep within. And thank you for being such a great example, teacher and leader to so many young and old people out there. So much to learn from you. Thank you for your willingness to walk through it all and to say yes. And to say yes to falling on your knees and cry and accept grace and love.
TIM
Thank you!
SCOTT MULVAHIL
I’m standing up
with just a song
That I fall back on
When everything goes wrong
When I can’t raise my hands
against the tide
When I’m as small
as the world is wide
I will stand on my own feet
I will go wherever they carry me
Storms will come
But I won’t back down
This ship I sail
Won’t run aground
I’m on the edge
of caving in
from the smallest tremors
to the faintest wind
when the earth is shaking
where I stand
When I’m reaching out
and no one takes my hand
I will stand on my own feet
I will go wherever they carry me
Storms will come
But I won’t back down
This ship I sail
Won’t run aground
Don’t fear the violent waters
don’t let despair take hold
the world will try to throw you on
the rocks
but nothing can break a hopeful soul
I’m standing up
with just a song
that I will sing when
trouble comes along
Whenever I am lost
These words resound
This ship I sail
Won’t run aground
I will stand on my own feet
I will go wherever they carry me
Storms will come
But I won’t back down
This ship I sail
Won’t run aground
This ship I sail
Won’t run aground
This ship I sail
Won’t run aground
TAJCI
I hope Tim’s story, like many others on this Waking Up in America show are helping you to really break those walls and expectations of other people and become more of the person that you are meant to be. Connect with us at WakingUpinAmerica.net and thank you so much for being with us.
Add comment