View the episode here: From Brokenness to Serving the Homeless (with Brett Swayn)
TAJCI
Imagine waking up in a foreign city of a foreign country all broken inside. How do you put the pieces of your life back together? Where do you find hope? And why would you even look for hope anymore? For Brett Swain it was a supernatural encounter with the divine. But was it really just the miracle from above or did he also play part in it? Find out on today’s episode of Waking Up in America.
I’m Tajci. At 19 I was a superstar and I was lost inside. I left it all behind, switched continents and started all over. Years later I found myself lost again, this time in the American Dream. This is a story about awakening. About living the life you were created for. About going inward and discovering the joyous and purposeful person you and I are both meant to be. This is Waking Up in America.
TAJCI
A viewer from Louisiana caught our Christmas special show and sent us an email, and this happens quite a bit saying, “I didn’t know this channel existed or your show but I stumbled across it and I needed to hear the message of Brett Swain: “God met me at the address, the end of the rope.” So thank you for being our guest on Waking Up in America on Christmas and today too. Thank you.
BRETT
Thanks for having me back.
TAJCI
So you’re from Australia originally.
BRETT
Yes.
TAJCI
Yes. We love Australia.
BRETT
Okay.
TAJCI
But before we get into the deep stuff, Brett, you are a chef and a CEO at The Cookery. Why don’t you introduce it?
BRETT
The idea was basically to reintroduce life and hope into the lives of men that have fallen into homelessness or have lost their way. Primarily for men right now. Eventually we’d like to reach into the lives of women and troubled teens.
TAJCI
So you teach them how to cook, how to restore their lives?
BRETT
Yeah. We give them the idea that they are gonna be cooking and learning the trade of the culinary. But while we’re there we’re dealing with the relationships and the things that break us and try to introduce the tools and the life skills and relationships that will repair those areas.
TAJCI
And we’ll get into that in a moment. But since you deal with food, what’s your favorite thing to make?
BRETT
You asked me that. I think, I think I really like the texture and the artistry of a dish we call Fish, Cajun Fish Lettuce Wraps. It has a few elements. It has a coleslaw, it’s very fresh, it’s low on the carbs, high on proteins and high on the veggie count. It’s just beautiful.
TAJCI
Did you bring any?
BRETT
No. Devin will make it.
TAJCI Okay, great. The Cookery, by the way is in Nashville, Tennessee so we’ll have the web address and you could visit online and just look at the pictures and when you visit Nashville absolutely visit The Cookery. Okay, take us back to Australia. Give us a little picture of how you grew up there.
BRETT
Gosh. I didn’t know anything different so it’s kind of a little rough, a little colonial like people expect it. And I ping-ponged between the city and the country. In the country you run around with bare feet and the rocks are really, really hot and it’s a sign of manhood even though you’re only 6 or 7 years old if you can run as fast as you can between shady tree spots because your feet is burned. It’s like it’s crazy. That was in a place called Exmouth. And that’s up in the Northwest tip. And I spent most of my informative years in Perth, West Australia.
TAJCI
Okay, so why did you come to America?
BRETT
Back then I actually thought that I was gonna be a musician.
TAJCI
You are a musician.
BRETT
Yes, but a different kind now.
TAJCI
Okay.
BRETT
Yeah. Back then, growing up, music, when it entered into my soul it made me feel something I’d never felt before. And I thought, “That’s what I want to do!” I was actually studying to be a pilot. I wanted to be an air force pilot.
TAJCI
Nice.
BRETT
Yeah.
TAJCI
Okay, so you flew to America now, you’re in?
BRETT
I landed in L.A.
TAJCI
Okay.
BRETT
And what’s that big famous beach? And it was really, really wild. I came to seek music and it was
TAJCI
So how did you… so you’re doing fine, right?
BRETT
No.
TAJCI
You were chasing your dreams. No?
BRETT
No.
TAJCI
Did you have any success as a musician?
BRETT
No, no.
TAJCI
Okay.
BRETT
Within two weeks money was running out.
TAJCI
Okay.
BRETT
And someone, God intervened. Someone said, “You should go to the third coast, Austin, Texas.”
TAJCI Okay.
BRETT
And so we went to Austin, Texas. And within a couple of months being there someone said, “You play music?” I said yes. And they said, “Well, it’s going to take you I think about eight months to get going.” We’re like, “we don’t have eight months.” But that’s how long it actually took. Eight months for us to start playing music. In between I was working like at a door at the steam boat in Austin, Texas and different places. So it took awhile.
TAJCI
And all of this now takes you to a place where, wow, what happens?
BRETT
Well, we formed a band and a cover band to survive. We played original music. So to get from Austin, Texas, I met someone. Oh, you’re really unpacking. I went from Austin, Texas and I met this girl who said, “I want to help you in your music and the only way to do this is to get married so you can become legal.” And I really struggled with that. But she said, “It’s just a business thing,” and I went, “Okay.” It’s hard to talk about this because I was a different person then.
TAJCI
Yes.
BRETT
So it’s putting on
TAJCI
You were also chasing your dream.
BRETT
Yeah.
TAJCI
That which you really believed in.
BRETT
Yeah. It was all about the dream.
TAJCI
Yes.
BRETT
It was all about… because if I just made it I could look after my Mom, people would like me. I would have a voice. I would be okay in life.
TAJCI
Yes. But in a lot of us, that’s how we do get affirmation.
BRETT
For me it was a place where I thought that was where you find life. Here is life in this thing and rather than using as an expression to express life. It was life itself.
TAJCI
Yes. So you were stuck in the idea that what we do defines us and defines our worth.
When we come back we’ll talk to Brett about what was his turning point that shifted him from that stuck place into the life of service, joy and purpose.
BREAK
We’re talking to Brett Swain, co-founder of The Cookery, culinary arts training facility in Nashville, Tennessee. So at your lowest point, tell us what was the pain that you were stuck in?
BRETT
After leaving Austin and living in Dallas and continuing to chase this idea of what I thought I was supposed to be and supposed to capture in life, the dream, it all collapsed. It all collapsed. The ideology of who I thought I was, it couldn’t sustain itself.
TAJCI
Yes, I love that you said, “The ideology of who I thought I was”. And so what happened that turned you into who you are created to be?
BRETT
I became the monster that I never thought I would be.
TAJCI
Oh wow.
BRETT
Yeah. It’s just the idea that oh my gosh, everything that you do not like, here it is, here you are. It was one of the hardest moments, I think, for anybody to look in the mirror and see the monster and not being able to
TAJCI
Tell me about the monster.
BRETT
The monster. I had cheated. I had become an adulterer. I had lost everything. I had broken every sense of integrity that I thought mattered to me. Just the moral collapse. The moral collapse of a person looking into the mirror and not being able to turn away. You have to look straight at it and you weren’t allowed to turn away.
TAJCI
Why not? Why couldn’t you take drugs or destruct or just go back into the cycle?
BRETT
It just never occurred to me to be an option. I was already there. I felt like a car that had come off a cliff and the steering wheel was in your hands but you had no traction. And I just panicked. The sense of panic. And I felt one morning this unction to go look for a Bible. I didn’t even understand what that meant. And I had never read one. I didn’t even know we had one in the house.
TAJCI
Why a Bible?
BRETT
I don’t know. So I go to this… I find one in the house and it was this big. A huge big one. And I opened it up and I’m reading it and it’s terrifying me. And it’s literally reading me as I’m reading it. And I’m going, how’s this possible? Because I’ve opened up to the red writing section. I didn’t even know what that is. And as I’m reading, how is this possible that this guy from 2,000 years ago is reading me?
TAJCI
And He’s reading the monster parts.
BRETT
Yeah.
TAJCI
He’s reading about you
BRETT
Where I’m at. This is where you’re at. This is who you are.
TAJCI
At the end of that rope.
BRETT
Yeah, absolutely. But then it was the promise. This is the forgiveness that was being spoken of and then the restoration. And that kind of felt like I was off the cliff. I suddenly felt that there was something underneath it. Just not letting it crash yet. Something was holding it out.
TAJCI
Yes.
BRETT
But it didn’t get easier. I lost everything.
TAJCI
Yeah. So would it be like you’re starving, you’re hungry and then there’s a promise of food?
BRETT
The Bible became like that. I was just famished for it.
TAJCI
Okay.
BRETT
But that came later. At that point there was this utter desolation. There was this awakening where I would lay in bed at night and I would beg for the dawn to come because there was so much pain that I couldn’t stand the slow ticking of the clock. And then I would wake up in the morning and I go, “Oh, let it be better.” And it wouldn’t be better so I would beg for the night to come. This is the truth and I read about it in Jeremiah. I was living the things that I was beginning to read. It was leading me.
TAJCI
But we all do. That’s why you’re right. It’s reading us. This is because we all go through these moments. And so you are desiring, longing, desperately to wake up to a dawn that’s different.
BRETT
Yeah, I was begging for forgiveness and hope. I remember I would, for seven months, I had begun to read this book.
TAJCI
When did you experience that miracle?
BRETT
For seven months I felt my world disappeared in water—my tears. I lost everything and every day I would wake up and pray for hours, four, five hours a day, weeping. I would read the book. I remember in Psalm 51 it was talking about your enemies would be a footstool for his feet and I remember imagining, I put my face on the ground and putting Jesus’ feet, in my imagination, on my back, going, “It’s me. I’m your enemy,” just bawling and bawling for seven months begging for forgiveness.
TAJCI
You know, most of the people out there, we’re all praying for a miracle. We’re all expecting a fairy, a list to just do this and this and this, take this course and you’ll be successful and your life will be… and here you are experiencing the miracle in the making, right?
BRETT
Yeah.
TAJCI
Right? It’s a process. In that process you were active.
BRETT
Yeah.
TAJCI
You were working pretty hard.
BRETT
Yeah. I was seeking. I was praying. I was looking for anything. And I remember something would happen in my life and I would read about it in the Bible. I remember one morning, early, we’d come through the winter in Dallas and I was standing in this place where I prayed. It was actually in a gym. And I remember hearing the sound of a bird and see, the whole world had become cardboard. I had lost all feeling. I could look at the color and it felt dead. And I remember standing in this gym and hear a bird song and joy entered my heart. I was… and I can’t explain that miracle but I remember the joy of the bird. It was foreign and yet it was like spring in my heart. And I remember an audible voice that said, “The war is over”.
TAJCI
Yes, because you connected. You opened up and you connected. And the bird, hearing it and allowing yourself to hear.
BRETT
That’s when life started to come back.
TAJCI
Exactly. The flow.
BRETT
Yes, it started to come back. But not all of the circumstances changed.
TAJCI
Well, they don’t usually. We’ll come back to that.
What Brett did now that he is awakened but life around him is still having some hard things in front of him.
BREAK
If you feel stuck in your life right now and would like to create your own turning point, learn how this episode and the stories of guests featured here can help you.
In my book, “Turning Points”, I break it all down for you. And I offer some guidance in the interactive sections at the end of each chapter. Visit wakinguprevolution.com to purchase a signed copy or download an e-book at Amazon.com.
TAJCI
We’re talking to Brett Swain who had this amazing turning point going from a dark, dark place and awakening and working through your desire to experience joy and finally you are now breathing air again.
BRETT
Yes.
TAJCI
And then working through the pain. And it doesn’t let up?
BRETT
No, the circumstances didn’t immediately change, no.
TAJCI
So then you moved to Nashville.
BRETT
I was prompted to come to Nashville.
TAJCI
Okay.
BRETT
When I had the experience of God entering my life, one thing He didn’t give me was I was going to experience homelessness. I thought I was going to Nashville for a whole different reason. It’s kind of like God says you’ll understand later, you know, when Jesus said that. So I’m coming to Nashville on the Greyhounds and I see Downtown they had the Lifeway building and the cross. And I was so comforted. I didn’t know who was going to meet me. I didn’t know anyone and had no money. But I see the cross in the middle of the city of Nashville and in all of the places of America He sends me here.
I spent the night at Greyhound, not knowing what to do. In the morning I met a homeless guy. He tells me, “Come to the mission.” I’m rejoicing because he says, “You can eat there, you can sleep there and it’s just around the corner.” I’ve got no money even for a bus fare. The mission, wait, isn’t that something you’ve been doing ever since? It didn’t matter. I was going. I was happy.
So I get into the mission and I see, as soon as I walked through the gates, homeless men in dirt and despair and loss. And I say, “God, what are you doing with me? I’m going to die here.” And the homeless man said, “Let me show you where else the homeless hang out.” He took me to the library park. So that’s on Church Street, I go to the library and I’m praying, I’m praying, I’m praying. I’m up in their religious section reading a Billy Graham book and He’s not speaking. He’s not saying anything.
And then the voice of the lady says, “The library’s closing in fifteen minutes,” and I was done praying. I closed the book, I put it up in despair and I said, “I’m hungry,” it wasn’t even a prayer. And I walked outside of the library and back then they had columns. As I was exiting the building and I see in one of the columns an apple. And I was so excited. An apple! I’m hungry!
I walked over to the apple and as soon as I touched it He speaks audibly and He says, “Why do you worry about the little things?” And Scripture came in that says, “I know your needs before you ask,” the way they’re intertwined I cannot explain.
TAJCI
Once we’re on the other side we see how the pieces of the puzzle really makes sense.
BRETT
Yes. But for me the experience of going through homelessness I couldn’t have sustained for a sense of life if it didn’t mean that my God saw me in that place.
TAJCI
Oh yes, I believe that.
BRETT
So that gave me the strength.
TAJCI
Yes.
BRETT
But there was no sense of safety in there. So I think looking back now, obviously that’s my ministry. But you cannot minister from piety. You have to minister from compassion.
TAJCI
Yes.
BRETT
And you have to know what it feels like to be able to minister to those who are going through something. So I often tell the guys what feels like a pit, when God shows you the way out you look back it’s a well and you draw mercy and wisdom and knowledge. You are able to refresh your soul because you know how they feel.
I can’t minister in all areas but I can minister to those who feel abandoned, to those who feel like they’re on the streets and no one cares, to those who feel invisible, to those that feel so broken by their brokenness they don’t know where to turn—I know how to do that. And it’s only, not by volunteering because I wouldn’t be brave enough, He allowed the experience. People go through these experiences I really believe when God sent it to be able to give life to someone else from the life they’ve received.
TAJCI
To get out of that stuck cycle that you were not even aware that you’re stuck.
BRETT
Right.
TAJCI
And a lot of people, a lot of us look and say, “Well, maybe it’s the system. Maybe it’s this. Maybe it’s that.” But you have your compassion.
BRETT
It’s a learning thing. He says, “Go learn what these things mean.”
TAJCI
Don’t we all wish that we could just get a five little thing or a ten little list and check, check, check. And even if you have a list it doesn’t work.
When we come back we’ll ask a few more questions and meet a very special guest.
BREAK
Are you planning a live event looking to bring inspiration and a fresh approach to wake up your community or organization? Tajci’s keynote concerts are transformational experiences that lead your audience to a life of joy, authenticity, courage, and purpose. Book Tajci for your next even now by visiting wakinguprevolution.com.
TAJCI
We’re here with Brett Swain and a very special guest, Devin. Thanks for being here. So you’re one of Brett’s friends.
Devin:
Yes, I work at The Cookery. I’m in the discipleship program. It’s part of the culinary program.
TAJCI
Wow. How did you find your way to The Cookery?
Devin:
My mother is very involved with the Nashville House of Prayer here in Nashville and I was at a very low time in my life and she knew some people who were involved with Brett and told me I should meet with him and talk with him.
TAJCI
You’re so young to have this beautiful turning point and I’m so grateful that you’ve had it. You were on the bottom?
Devin:
Yeah. Got into a very bad relationship. I’m from North Carolina. I followed the girl out here to Tennessee pretty much. And it lasted about a year and everything turned upside down. I jumped into a liquor bottle and found myself for the first time, homeless, broke, jobless.
TAJCI
So why did you listen to your mother?
Devin:
My Momma knows God.
TAJCI
Oh. That’s so beautiful and I’m sure there’s going to be a lot of mothers. They’re going to be very touched. There’s going to be a lot of kids that don’t. The last thing they want is listen to their mother telling them, “Go pray.”
Devin:
Well, when you spend 28 years purposely doing exactly the opposite of what she tells you to do, and knowing it all the time that you should be doing it, when you finally get to that spot when you’re ready to change you know where to turn.
TAJCI
I mean, the openness of the heart to say, “Yes, I will listen to the voice that’s been there all the time.”
BRETT
Yeah. Knowing that you’re in a safe place, like finding out that when people don’t move, even sometimes trust is earned when even those that inflict wounds upon you sometimes and you don’t move. They know where to come to as a place of safety.
TAJCI
Yes. Very important. Because you can have the nudge, you can have the awakening, you can have the list, you can have the mother and then you have again nowhere to go. And that’s where I think we all need to do better. We need to create more places where we really show up and say, “Here, Devin and John, Mary, come. We want you here.”
BRETT
That’s where it’s happened. I think you need trust to be able to assault the wounds that have assaulted you. And Devin obviously is in a place where he is able to be honest because he feels safe enough to be honest. And not just safe enough amongst our community but safe within himself.
TAJCI
Yes.
BRETT
Because he can be honest, which creates his own safety.
TAJCI
Well, because also there is a sense of identity. You know that our worth is not what we do or how successful we are. But our worth is because we were all created children of God, yes. Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Thank you.
TAJCI
Alright, Brett. One word answers. Your biggest challenge?
BRETT
Love.
TAJCI
Biggest fear?
BRETT
Love.
TAJCI
Most grateful for?
BRETT
Love.
TAJCI
Your comfort food?
BRETT
Oatmeal.
TAJCI
What was the last picture you took with your phone?
BRETT
Oh, I don’t know.
TAJCI
Good! Who do you want to help the most?
BRETT
Broken.
TAJCI
All the world needs is?
BRETT
Love.
TAJCI
If I could abolish anything from the earth it would be?
BRETT
Hatred.
TAJCI
Okay. You prefer locally grown or exotic food?
BRETT
Locally.
TAJCI
Salad or soup?
BRETT
Soup.
TAJCI
Sweet or savory?
BRETT
Both.
TAJCI
East or west?
BRETT
West.
TAJCI
Oceans or mountains?
BRETT
Oh. That’s one word, ain’t it? Both.
TAJCI
City or country?
BRETT
Both.
TAJCI
Ballet or opera?
BRETT
Opera.
TAJCI
Oh, great! Good. And this sentence, I believe in?
BRETT
Love.
TAJCI
This year you claim…
BRETT
Light.
TAJCI
Oh, beautiful. Thank you so much. This was fun. This is Brett Swain. And now, introduce the song for us. Tell me where it came from.
BRETT
Yes. I remember, since He’s given back music, it’s taken away from the idol of it and it’s going into this sense of worshipping the One that’s giving the music. And I remember just free forming the lyrics. And a lot of times when we’re write lyrics or we write the songs. We try to, I get the pitch out or I get a melody, or I get a phrase. But this time as I’m writing the music I just free formed it and the verse wrote itself. And as I was listening back to it in shock. I was weeping. I was just weeping from the music. So the song wrote itself.
TAJCI
Yes.
BRETT
I guess it was there.
TAJCI
And it’s perfect for this show about Turning Points because it’s: Move from your stuck place, move into the light and the flow of love and grace. Brett, thank you so much.
BRETT
It’s an honor.
BRETT (Song)
Has anybody ever have their fear?
Has anybody ever took a pill?
Has anybody ever just walk away?
Lost their heart or things to say?
Can’t take another
Can’t break further
Oh, can’t change the color
Move.
Has anybody ever lost their place?
Has anybody ever want to erase?
Can’t take another
Can’t break further
Oh, can’t shake, won’t let you move.
Hope won’t let you down.
Faith will keep you on solid ground.
Love’s coming to rescue you
Love’s coming to see you through.
Love’s coming to help you move.
Oh, move.
You got more than you thought you had.
You are more than you thought you were.
Don’t stop believing.
It’s way more than a feeling.
You can, you can move.
Oh, move. Oh, move.
TAJCI
It’s your turn now. So don’t be just passive audience. Help us to bring more stories like this. Go to patreon.com/wakingup and pledge a monthly contribution. You will help us to create more episodes and you will also receive perks, like cool stuff and backstage footage. But most importantly you will be making a difference in the world. And then visit wakinguprevolution.com for more stories like this one and share them with the world. Thank you so much. See you next time.
Olga:
I’m Olga Alexeeva. I’m the artist and owner of O’Gallery. This episode was filmed at my studio at Marathon Village, Nashville. Please visit us at ogalleryart.com. Thank you.
