S3 – EP 5 “Follow Your Dream (with Scott Wilcox)
TAJCI:
What if you could truly make your dreams come true but in order to do that you have to let go of something you thought was true your entire life. Scott Wilcox grew up believing the well-meaning words that stop so many musicians before they even start: Music is a hobby. Don’t quit your day job. So he built successful careers in advertising and in special education until a middle schooler called him out and forced him to face his dream. In today’s episode, find out about a series of turning points that propelled Scott from a hobbyist to a professional musician and how he is inspiring others.
BUMPER
I’m Tajci. At 19 I was a superstar and I was lost inside. I left it all behind, switched continents and started all over. Years later I found myself lost again, this time in the American Dream. This is a story about awakening. About living the life you were created for. About going inward and discovering the joyous and purposeful person you and I are both meant to be. This is Waking Up in America.
TAJCI:
Scott, I’m so excited for you to be on my show.
SCOTT:
Thank you. I’m glad to be here
TAJCI:
You’re my first Wisconsin musician.
SCOTT:
Really?
TAJCI:
Yes.
SCOTT:
Cause there are so many of them. I’m surprised I get to be first. What an honor.
TAJCI:
Yes. I played in your hometown Tomah, Wisconsin and now you’re in Nashville. How do you like Nashville?
SCOTT:
I have loved Nashville. It’s my first time being here but it’s been fantastic. I’ve been playing on all the open mics, have a couple of friends here so they let me play at their shows. So I’ve been pretty much playing every night since I’ve been here.
TAJCI:
Yes.
SCOTT:
That’s why it’s fantastic.
TAJCI:
Yeah, that’s night Nashville, a lot of live music. Is it the same in Wisconsin? I would think, I mean, you know, polkas, dances.
SCOTT:
Well, you know, sadly enough, there aren’t nearly as many polka dances as there used to be. I think up in Pulaski, Wisconsin they still have a polka fest up there. But a lot of the polka that you used to see all over the place is kind of disappeared as the audience got older.
TAJCI:
Right.
SCOTT:
And people don’t polka just as much anymore.
So other styles of music, it’s really taken its place with the influence of the Mississippi on one side of Wisconsin and the Chicago blues sound of the other side of Wisconsin, from Milwaukee in that area really kind of creates a nice mix of country and blues, so.
TAJCI:
Interesting. Is that what they play in the Green Bay Packers games?
SCOTT:
They do play some. But they still have the traditional polkas they also play.
TAJCI:
Very good. And cheese heads, right?
SCOTT:
And cheese heads.
TAJCI:
I own one too. So does that have anything to do with this concept that music is a hobby and not a day job that you grew up with?
SCOTT:
Well, I think, you know, part of Wisconsin, you know, it comes from a really strong hardworking blue collar background and a lot of hardworking farmers in the community. And you have the idea of playing music to make a living was not something they had time to do back then.
TAJCI:
Right.
SCOTT:
So of course, for people that I grew up with in Wisconsin, the idea that anybody could even make a living playing music was so foreign to them that I suppose they, you know, said “Don’t quit your day job,” because the opportunity just didn’t seem to be there. But things are changing in Wisconsin. And it is possible now if you do it right.
TAJCI:
Yes. So tell me about your experience with it—growing up you have an amazing talent, you got a scholarship to a college to study music.
SCOTT:
Yeah. Yeah.
TAJCI:
And yet you go into it thinking that it’s going to be a hobby.
SCOTT:
Well, part of it was my upbringing. I came from a very musical family. On my grandfather side, my grandfather was a trumpeter for Gene Krupa and Wayne King back in the big band days. He was a fantastic trumpeter. And on the other side of my family was my father who was the bass singer in a song called, “Hush A Bye” back in the 50’s. “Hush a bye, hush a bye, oh my darling don’t you cry”.
TAJCI:
Oh, yeah.
SCOTT:
Yeah. So, you know, he had that background. In fact, that’s what drove him later into getting into the air force and then becoming a radio disc jock. And he was a radio disc jock for 30 years of his life. So the strong musical influence was on both sides of the family. But because that music influence was there they also were afraid of encouraging the kids to go on it because they knew how hard of a life it really could be.
TAJCI:
Growing up was that your dream to be a musician? Or were you holding yourself? How did you deal with that?
SCOTT:
I tell my audiences all the time. I said I had wanted to be a rock star from the time I was a little kid. And there was a short period of time I think I wanted to be a garbage man. I mean, who wouldn’t want to ride on the back of the truck? I mean that’s the coolest job ever.
TAJCI:
That’s right.
SCOTT:
But no, other than that
I pretty much always wanted to be a musician but I held back because I felt the responsibility.
I met a beautiful woman and had kids and I knew I had to provide for them. And I knew that music would be difficult. And so I got a degree in Marketing and Advertising and I did that for a number of years. And I was very good at it. But I felt like I needed to do something where I could give back.
TAJCI:
Interesting. So tell me about that feeling. Was it a nagging? Was it something’s missing?
SCOTT:
Yeah, it was a feeling as though I felt like I wasn’t feeling fulfilled in the job that I had because I guess maybe part of marketing and advertising is always trying to help someone else out. And then in the end you don’t feel like you really emotionally helped anybody, more of just you financially helped somebody out, which wasn’t the same to me. So I made the decision, I talked to my wife and I said I want to go back to school. And at 30 some years old I went back to school and got my Master’s in Special Education. And now here I am.
TAJCI:
Wow, not Music? Special Education?
SCOTT:
Special Education.
TAJCI:
Okay, so you made another detour. Was it fear?
SCOTT:
Yes, it was all along.
You know, even if I’ve been told my whole life that I’ve always had a lot of musical talent and I had a gift for doing it, none of that can prepare you for the fear to actually have the confidence to go out and play that in front of people that you may not know.
I was fine playing for relatives and friends.
TAJCI:
Right.
SCOTT:
But I was really scared to go out and think that people would want to hear the music that I create but don’t even know me.
TAJCI:
And make a career and make a successful business that you can support your family with. When we come back we’ll talk to Scott about the turning point that happened in his life and put him right in Oprah’s studio.
BREAK
TAJCI:
I’m talking to Scott Wilcox, singer-songwriter and music influencer from Wisconsin. So we were just at the point of your turning point. So you’re going to leave your secure job. Tell me about how that happened. Tell me about that middle-schooler.
SCOTT:
Well, I was working for about five years as a Special Education teacher.
TAJCI:
And that’s a fulfilling job.
SCOTT:
Oh extremely. And I loved what I did. I loved being a teacher and I could see the difference in the kids as they grow and mature and learn things. It was very fulfilling from that standpoint. That wasn’t a problem for me at all.
TAJCI:
Did you use music in your job?
SCOTT:
I did. I loved to play guitar. I loved to try new things, you know. I was one of the first teachers in our area to use exercise balls for kids with ADHD to sit on so that when they’re getting anxious and rambunctious they’d sit on the exercise balls and do their homework and they would no longer fidget. I had another kid that was both, he was deaf and had a cochlear implant. And so he had difficulty talking to other kids and socializing. So what we did as we started the program, we had them read to my dog.
TAJCI:
Wow.
SCOTT:
And it completely changed things for him. Well now, I just read an article not too long ago they’re doing it all over the nation. So I was trying to do things at a time when people weren’t doing those things. And I guess that’s because I’ve always been the type of person who likes to think outside the box.
TAJCI:
So tell me about the middle schooler.
SCOTT:
Well, I’ve been a teacher for a while and a student that I had for some time came up to me and he said, “You know, Mr. Wilcox, I love you to death but I think you’re a hypocrite.”
TAJCI:
Whoa!
SCOTT:
Yeah, sort of called me on the carpet.
TAJCI:
How old was he?
SCOTT:
I think he was around 14 at that time.
TAJCI:
Wow. That’s courageous.
SCOTT:
Well, he was a courageous kid. You know, rather than looking at it and getting offended, cause I don’t usually do that, and I looked at this as kind of a teaching moment. And I said, “Well, alright. What do you mean by that”
“What do you mean I’m a hypocrite?” and he said, “Well, every single day you come into the classroom and you tell me and all the other kids that we need to find our calling—that one thing that makes us special and unique. And when we find it, pursue it with all our heart and passion and soul.” He said, “And then here you are with all this musical talent and all these songs and you’re doing nothing with it.” He said, “Doesn’t that make you a hypocrite?”
TAJCI:
So what did you do?
SCOTT:
Well, first, I kind of swallowed my pride a little bit. But then right after that I said, “You know, maybe you’re right. I’ll make you a deal. This summer I’ll go out, I’ll play a few places and see what people think. If they like it, I’ll keep doing it. If they don’t, I can always come back here and teach again and you better hope you do well next year.”
TAJCI:
And did you feel that, I mean, just you talking about it, you know, I can feel this like weakness in my knees like, “Oh, can I really do this? Am I really going to go and put myself out there?”
SCOTT:
I did. But at the same time I felt like I’ve always been really conscious that if I make an obligation to my students or to my kids that I need to follow through with it. And so when I made the decision to go out and play I was going to do it. And oddly enough three weeks after I went out to play live in front of people I got on the Oprah Winfrey Show and I sang for 45 million people.
TAJCI:
Oh, I love to get back to that. When we come back we’ll talk about what happens now that Scott had his turning point and decided to follow his dream.
BREAK
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TAJCI:
Now you have your turning point, you decide, “Okay, I’m going to play.” That included now making a drastic move of quitting your day job.
SCOTT:
Well, it did. So I sat down with my wife and I started talking about it and I said, you know, “What should I do? You know, I’m getting a lot of calls for shows.” I started to get calls immediately. Not as busy as I am now but pretty busy for that time. So we decided kinda, maybe I should go and find something part time. And that was kind of like a transitional step. So I did. I found a part time job and I, you know, found a way to kind of keep myself busy doing that, making little bit of living so I could do my music on the side. And I did that for a number of years during that time. And then just this past year was the first that I went full time. And this is all I do. And I’ve been playing in 160 shows a year and it’s just been fantastic.
TAJCI:
And that includes two or three children.
SCOTT:
Three children.
TAJCI:
Three children.
SCOTT:
Three teenagers.
TAJCI:
Okay.
SCOTT:
You can start praying for me right now.
TAJCI:
Cause that has to be a pretty substantial job to do to cover all of the expenses of a big family.
SCOTT:
Well, you know, it does. And we still struggle, you know, my son’s getting braces coming up here soon. You know, I have one daughter in college. We have another one that’s going to college next year. And you know, we worry about the money and where it’s going. But at the same time finally see some real success in what we’re doing. And we see it grow.
TAJCI:
Right. So do you think that because you are now aligned with your purpose, you are following your dream, you’re following that inner voice, you know, that now things are coming to you and happening because this is what you were supposed to do?
SCOTT:
I really do believe that. But I didn’t come to that realization until I was on Oprah Winfrey.
TAJCI:
Yeah. And yes, tell me about that.
SCOTT:
The Oprah thing really started out as a fluke. When one evening my wife and I were having a discussion, we call it. We were arguing but it was a discussion. And during our discussion we had just gotten a free 30-days of the Oprah network because we got new satellite. So the Oprah show just happened to be out and start a new Life Class Show. And so the topic of the day was letting go of your anger. How appropriate.
TAJCI:
Appropriate, yes.
SCOTT:
So we decided to watch the show. And we really did feel better after the show. And it really worked so we thought we’d watch the next one and then watch the next one.
TAJCI:
But here you are letting go of your anger. Letting go of that limiting belief that music is a hobby. You did a lot of letting go.
SCOTT:
Yes, but it was a process.
TAJCI:
Yes, yes.
SCOTT:
It wasn’t something that happened immediately.
TAJCI:
Yes.
SCOTT:
You know, so eventually I, you know,
I liked the Oprah show so much that I sent in a song that I wrote called, “When You Know Better” and it used all the topics of all the shows and it you know, it used a quote from her favorite author which was Maya Angelou that said, “When you know better you do better.”
TAJCI:
Yes.
SCOTT:
Which was a perfect quote for me because it was really meant for people who make lots of mistakes. And it really says that when you make a mistake hopefully you will pick up tools from that time that you can use that tools the next time you get put in that situation, to maybe not make the mistake quite so bad the next time around—which I thought was a really nice tool to use for life in general.
TAJCI:
Yes.
SCOTT:
So the song went great and I sent it in. three days later they called and said they loved the song and they want to have me on the show.
TAJCI:
That’s wonderful. And you know, this just shows how we affect people. Oprah’s Life Class affected your life tremendously and then how many lives did you affect through your song and through what you do now? Now it’s just wonderful. But we do need each other to be these spiritual teachers, supporters, lifter-uppers.
SCOTT:
Exactly. You know, I fall back on my teaching experience and my marketing experience all the time to do what I do now. And I know that all the things that I did in my life were preparing me for exactly where I am right now. And had I not been on Oprah I felt before then that
I had this weird glass ceiling above my head, like always kind of reminding me, “This is as far as you’ll ever go. This is all you’ll ever be.” Well, after being on Oprah it completely disappeared. So now it was both scary and exciting at the same time because the potential was limitless. But at the same time it was a little scary because the potential was limitless.
TAJCI:
Yes.
SCOTT:
So it’s allowed me to try things I probably never would have tried before.
TAJCI:
What would you tell somebody else in your position? How would you tell them to experience that? I mean, what are the steps?
SCOTT:
Well, you know,
I think a lot of people try to say that, “Oh I can’t do this because I’m too old,” or “I can’t do this because I’m too overweight,” or “I can’t do this because I am female,” or “I can’t do this because of…” all the excuses that we give ourselves. Oprah told me in person that you have to stop listening to the outside voices of the people telling you who you are and who you are supposed to be.
TAJCI:
Who they think you are supposed to be.
SCOTT:
Who they think you are supposed to be. And start listening to your inner voice that you know who you are and you know where you can go. And it really makes a completely different transformation in you, yourself. The only thing holding any of us back from doing what we want to in life is ourselves. And we can put all the blame on everything else we want but we have it inside us to do what we want to do from the beginning. And with the support of our friends and family and our faith, we can do anything.
TAJCI:
Yes. And thank you for saying faith because that’s part of this spirituality that comes in—that inner voice, that connection with something greater than us, that give us the purpose to bring love and compassion and all good things in our world. So I want to challenge our viewers as we take a little break to really think of what is that inner voice, that calling that you can be listening to.
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TAJCI:
Alright. So we’re back with Scott Wilcox, singer-songwriter. And you organize a lot of festivals in Wisconsin, correct?
SCOTT:
Yeah.
Part of after being on Oprah I thought I wanted to do more than just promote myself. I felt that it was really important to, instead of just making myself more successful is to try and life up others as well.
TAJCI:
Yes. That’s what we do when we experience a turning point. Yes.
SCOTT:
Exactly.
TAJCI:
It goes from us to others.
SCOTT:
Exactly. I heard Oprah said once, she said that once she became more famous she lifted up her friends with her because it’s no fun being successful if you have to be alone at the top.
TAJCI:
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
SCOTT:
So what I did is I created two music festivals. One is Music in the Park Festival in my hometown and the other is another music festival called Cran Jam.
TAJCI:
Nice.
SCOTT:
Because Tomah is the cranberry capital, I guess. So I wanted to create some events that I could help independent artists and people that aren’t seen a whole lot, heard a whole lot opportunity for them to play in front of a really nice crowd.
TAJCI:
Beautiful.
SCOTT:
And it’s growing from you know, basically when I started I was playing for my wife and my mother. And now it’s grown to be about 400 people.
TAJCI:
Wow.
SCOTT:
And we do it seven times this summer.
TAJCI:
That’s wonderful. Okay, now it’s time for one word answers. You ready?
SCOTT:
Okay.
TAJCI:
Alright. What makes you most alive?
SCOTT:
Music.
TAJCI:
What scares you the most?
SCOTT:
Maybe my children?
TAJCI:
How do you rest?
SCOTT:
Rest?
TAJCI:
Yeah. Do you rest?
SCOTT:
I don’t know! I haven’t done it for so long.
TAJCI:
Do you play or sit quietly?
SCOTT:
I do. I use music to relax.
TAJCI:
What are you most grateful for?
SCOTT:
My family.
TAJCI:
In the next five years you want to experience?
SCOTT:
Life.
TAJCI:
Your favorite instrument?
SCOTT:
Drums.
TAJCI:
Polka or waltz?
SCOTT:
Waltz.
TAJCI:
Ballads or up-tempos?
SCOTT:
Ballads.
TAJCI:
Lizards or insects?
SCOTT:
Insects.
TAJCI:
Travel or stay at home?
SCOTT:
Travel.
TAJCI:
Casual or formal gigs?
SCOTT:
Casual.
TAJCI:
City or country?
SCOTT:
Country.
TAJCI:
All our world needs is?
SCOTT:
Love.
TAJCI:
If I could abolish anything from the earth it would be?
SCOTT:
Hate.
TAJCI:
This year I claim?
SCOTT:
Happiness.
TAJCI:
Oh, beautiful. Thank you, Scott.
SCOTT:
It was hard!
TAJCI:
Okay, I have one more thing. Our viewers usually ask questions. So Dan Roder, who was a teacher and composer from Alturas, California, it’s a tiny dot on the map, asks: “Thinking back to the time you made the shift from teaching and nurturing talent to cultivating your own in songwriting what were some of the things or people or ideas that moved you toward your new goals”
SCOTT:
Well, that’s tricky. Because first of all, the catalyst really, I think, was being on Oprah. And if she believed in me enough to have me on her show then maybe I should believe in me. But the truth of the matter is, I don’t see there being a great difference between giving back to my students and giving back to the community.
I feel that when I’m performing in front of an audience the stories that I tell about inspiration and love and loss kinda are all the same lessons that I would teach to my classroom, to my students. So it really wasn’t a great leap. It was just a different way of communicating the message.
TAJCI:
Okay, introduce your song for us that you want to play.
SCOTT:
The song I want to play is a song called “Locally Famous Widely Unknown”. It’s kinda hard to play the song without telling the story that goes with it. My grandfather, as I said, was a famous musician himself. He went through a lot in his life including World War II and being captured by the Germans so he was kind of a hero to me. So when he was passing away at 93 years old he was at the VA hospital because he was a Vet. So I went to visit him as much as I could. One of those days I went in and I met a younger guy—younger than me—and he was sitting in a wheelchair and he’d lost both of his legs and he looked up at me and saw my guitar on my back and he said, “Hey, can you sing me Amazing Grace?” Well, how do you turn down a guy in a wheelchair with no legs?
TAJCI:
You don’t.
SCOTT:
You don’t. And my grandpa always used to say if you know three chords you can play any song in history. So I knew all the words and melody of Amazing Grace so I sang the song—probably not my best version but I did the best I could. And when I got done he shook my hand and he looked me in the eye and he said, “You know, you absolutely have no idea how much that means to me.” Well, I didn’t but I shook his hand anyway and I said, “Well, thank you very much for the opportunity.” And away I went. I came back about three days later I didn’t run into that guy but this male nurse came running up to me and he’s like, “Oh my gosh, what did you say to that guy in the wheelchair last time you were here?” And I was like, “I didn’t say much of anything to him. He asked me if I’d sing him Amazing Grace so I pretty much just sang him the song and that was it.” And the nurse was like, “That is incredible.” And I was lost, right? So I said, “Why was that so incredible?” He said, “Well, that guy wasn’t in here because he’d lost both of his legs. The guy was in here because he was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Two years earlier he had his legs blown off in a horrible explosion. It was so traumatic for him that since the day of that injury he hadn’t spoken one word. And the very first words he spoke was, ‘Can you sing me Amazing Grace?’“ As I said before,
all that I wanted to be from that time was a rock star. But that was the first moment I realized life isn’t all about being a big rock star. It’s about making a big difference in our backyard. And so now it doesn’t matter whether I play for three people or will I play for 300 or 45 million. The point is that I’m not playing that song because I want to get famous. I’m playing because somebody out there needs it and so I keep playing the songs.
TAJCI:
Wow. Thank you.
SCOTT:
You’re welcome.
MUSIC
SCOTT:
Locally famous, widely unknown.
It’s okay, cause I don’t mind being needed close to home
And I’m locally famous, widely askew
It’s okay, cause I don’t mind staying right here close to you.
I walked in to Wal-mart, a guy shakes my hand and he says
That song you played last night made my wife get up and dance
See, she wasn’t feeling well and lost the will to fight
But after that song you played she said everything’ll be alright
And I’m locally famous, widely unknown.
It’s okay because I don’t mind being needed close to home
And I’m locally famous, widely askew
It’s okay because I don’t mind staying right here close to you
Went to the VA to visit my grandpa
Met a man who lost his legs in the Persian Gulf War
Sang him a little song called “Amazing Grace”
You would have thought I was Willie Nelson by the smile on his face.
And I’m locally famous, widely unknown.
It’s okay, cause I don’t mind being needed close to home
And I’m locally famous, widely askew
It’s okay, cause I don’t mind staying right here close to you.
When I was a young boy, I dreamt to be a star
Now I know that to change the world you don’t have to go that far
And I’m locally famous, widely unknown.
It’s okay because I don’t mind being needed close to home
And I’m locally famous, widely askew
It’s okay because I don’t mind being right here close to you.
Yeah, yeah.
It’s okay because I don’t mind staying right here close to you.
TAJCI:
I hope that Scott’s story is inspiring you to let go of your glass ceiling or your limiting beliefs and follow that inner voice that the path that you are uniquely created for and change someone’s life, touch someone’s soul. To share this episode and to find more inspiration and encouragement visit us at WakingUpRevolution.com for more inspiration. To sign up for our online courses or our daily inspiration series and to get a copy of my book, “Turning Points”. Thank you so much for watching. I believe in you.
OLGA:
I’m Olga Alexeeva. I’m the artist and owner of O’Gallery. This episode was filmed at my studio at Marathon Village, Nashville. Please visit us at ogalleryart.com. Thank you.
